More comments to follow.

First, the taboo about asking for help in general does exist, in my experience; I still remember several instances from 10 years ago or more, and they were not related to money at all. You’re naturally thinking of the particular recent experience I told you about, but that wasn’t an exception to the rule. People really seem to think that they can’t ask for help or say no when asked. I’ve seen many reactions that seem to say “how dare you ask me for help on that, and therefore dump all that guilt on me?”.

About money, I agree with you that it’s a stronger taboo… but I disagree that it should be. Rational people shouldn’t have forbidden subjects, nor get angry when they are mentioned. If a person doesn’t want to lend money, he or she should simply calmly say “sorry, no”, and the friendship between both shouldn’t be affected in any way.

One point you didn’t mention here, but did so when last we talked, is that insisting is wrong. Here I agree completely; though I’d spare a little mercy for someone who was really desperate and asked twice. It’s wrong, but forgivable, in my opinion.

Finally, I also agree with you on another point: paying when you promised you would is the right, proper thing to do. Nobody should be harmed because they trusted us. And here I’m not perfect.

But my points in this post — which, as I said, were not directly related to that particular case — remain: making a sin out of either asking or saying no is absurd, irrational, and the sign of a sick culture.

Its not normal to ask friends for money, unless in a situation of despair. If that happens, then, paying when you promised you would, becomes question of honor and respect to them.

Its particularly delicate to borrow money from friends if one has a previous history of not handling money very well….

Now for the post comment, I’m a little bit different than you and the majority of the other persons you refer. I don’t have problems asking for help (well, maybe except for directions, when driving) but have problems about saying no to someone who asks for my help.

On normal situations I can’t say no to requests for help.

Now, regarding the question if this is part of the portuguese culture, I don’t think this is restrained only to us. But that’s only my opinnion.

Were I superstitious, I’d think I really should stop announcing these things…

Welcome back and great news about the gf (have you put a ring on it yet, as Beyonce says? )

Like you were saying, it’s much better to do something than to sit back and watch life pass you by. Good luck and I hope you stick with it.

A different matter is when the employee doesn’t think it should be done, as it’s a bad idea, but the pointy-haired boss, in his incredibly dubious wisdom, has asked for it. I’d tell him my reservations about doing that, but if he didn’t change his mind, I’d do it anyway, again, assuming that it’s a part of my job. If it was something potentially company-destroying (you can’t imagine the things I’ve been asked to do in some of my past jobs), I’d demand his order in writing. And if it was something illegal (such as sending mass spam to non-customers), I’d simply refuse.

So, you see, I’m already honest. Not “radically” honest, though; I’ve never told a boss how incompetent he was, and some of them in the past really deserved it…

So, Pedro, ignoring the writer who was a complete and utter tosser, what do you think of the movement?

Well, I see it as having two separate parts: “don’t lie, even white lies”, and “share everything that comes to your mind”.

I agree with the first part, and I think that, with a few unavoidable exceptions, I already follow it, at least more than most people around me. I don’t pretend to like what I like, or to approve an idea (even from a boss) I find dumb. I never faked non-existent feelings in order to get laid. And I always try to be honest with myself and others, even when the truth is uncomfortable.

As for the second part… there’s something to be said for it, but I think it’d work mostly when dealing with other people who were following it as well. I don’t know how much the “real world” would be able to handle it. It’s food for thought.

Imagine if, when asked by your boss if you would mind doing some paperwork, you answered “yes I would”.Or, if you’re tired and a pregnant woman asks you if you would mind giving her your seat…

In reality, if everyone would tell the truth, then people would be expecting to receive a negative reply to their requests and would not be taken aback…

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I actually tend to be brutally honest with those close to me, I just try to say things in the nicest possible way. At the end of the day, I suppose they appreciate me, because they know I am trying to be fair. Then again, I am brutally honest with/ about myself as well, which not many people are willing to do.

But my bf enjoys it, in fact, quite early in the relationship he said he trusted me, cos I don’t tend to lie; I hate lying, either big lies or white lies, it takes energy which I feel is ill spent. And it takes getting used to, my bf sometimes would swallow hard and say, “right, let me just digest that” – I tend to be too blunt sometimes, I have been working on choosing my words more carefully
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but the guy in the article was a bit of a tosser. one does not have to be rude to be honest… he was behaving like a spoiled child, not like an honest person.
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I thought he came across as confrontational. He probably lies a lot cos he’s unable to face up to people, so he went about doing what he didn’t have the balls to do in his regular day-to-day life. like for eg. when his parents-in-law came for dinner and he behaved like a twat. the more i remember, the more i think of him as a twat. like when he had the meeting with the lady and bluntly told her he’d been looking down her top. bleedin’ hell, did he need to? if he’d explained he’d always found her attractive and as he was going through a period where he did not hold back the truth, he felt he ought to tell her that, would’ve been much more polite, no? perhaps awkward, yes, but not rude.

i hate rude ppl :p
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I feel that one does not need to be rude to be honest, but I do agree with the movement. If everyone were to be honest with themselves and others, we would probably be less insecure all in all, which would lead to better social skills and harmony between people. We would need to learn how to argue with people, how to accept criticism and invite change, how to be less judgmental – as in, we would learn to accept other people’s choices and not be upset by them, regardless of what they would be – and last, but not least, we would need to take a hard look at ourselves and acknowledge how we really are, rather than seeing ourselves as we’d rather be or presume to be. I think that actually, for most people, that would be the hardest thing to achieve.

So, Pedro, ignoring the writer who was a complete and utter tosser, what do you think of the movement?

(Hope this is not spam, by the way; oh well, there’s always rel=nofollow)